mental disarray.

if you have chatted with me post-Delhi, you may recall that one of the hardest adaptations of living in India is societal perspectives on racism. i have briefly mentioned religious differences, but they are just one of many many ways to distinguish one Indian subgroup from another. these differences, it seems, have led to widely accepted stereotypes about each group... and while the comments sound flippant to everyone around me, i still feel at a loss for how to respond. if someone at home made a comment about getting a "Jew carwash" because it is raining (and the car is therefore being washed for free), or if someone is trying to save some money and is accused of being "such a Jew", the references to the Jewish stereotype of frugality is an extreme taboo. i do not know many people who would laugh these kinds of comments off, much less hear them without batting an eye. in India, the same stereotype extends to folks in the Gujarati community (and the Marwaris as well)... but when people comment on their "kunjus" or thrifty stereotype, the reactions are nowhere near what one might expect in North America. every group has their stereotypes about every other group, and they're referred to freely and almost never receive a reaction, externally or otherwise.

suffice it to say that it takes some getting used to. i very much feel like the oversensitive, uber-PC Canadian trying desperately to understand (and ignore) the constant stereotyping and comments. as interesting a challenge as that has been, the only thing that still drops my jaw to the ground is hearing the N word used when referring to black populations. it is SO far from acceptable, and perhaps the most offensive racial slur i know.... and yet again, it is used without batting an eye. because it has been so difficult to ignore, i have asked a few people i trust to explain. the usage appears to have raised directly from pop media! India is keen to play artists like Akon and The Game et al., and the frequency of the word in these mainstream songs has infiltrated colloquial language. from what i gather, it is not said with the malicious intent i associate it with, but that certainly does not make it any easier to stomach. especially when, if we're being entirely honest, Indians have never hidden their intolerance for black communities all that well.

that is the part i find so confusing. literally every localite i have discussed this with (and you KNOW that adds up to a big number of conversations!) has assured me that there is no racist basis for the comments, no behavioural change from one group to another based on the stereotypes, and therefore no need for me to get my chuddis in a knot. and yet, as with any other region with so many different communities, there are constant conflicts between groups. yet no one associates this in any way with the stereotypes so deeply engrained and accepted. i still cannot understand how they are compartmentalized as so independent of one another. and i am still struggling to understand the intended meaning of these comments.

the entire topic makes me feel acutely more like a Canadian than an Indian while i'm here. what is interesting about that is in Canada, i feel more like an Indian. there is a Hindi saying about being neither here nor there that describes the situation perfectly. it is something that i have never fully acknowledged before this move, which i find odd given my dedication to all things Konkani within North America. but what is far more fascinating than all of that is that Indians born and raised in India experience a very similar "identity crisis"! different communities have slowly started mixing, different languages and foods are being used outside of their expected areas, and what almost makes me laugh is that English is slowly replacing most other languages within the educated youth. i had a local Konkani youth ask me the other day why i care about preserving "such a useless language"; we were enjoying our beers in English even though we can both converse in Konkani. her point was that English will ultimately be a universal language, and therefore the one that her children should be focused on learning. it has stopped me in my tracks on so many trains of thought -- Konkani youth within India itself are experiencing the same dilution that we are abroad!

but as i've been trying to point out, it is not just us. it is every Indian community. it is also a mere global phenomenon; i suspect French and Chinese cultures are battling with similar dilutions to their culture. isn't that actually a GOOD thing? i spend so much of my time wishing, and working towards, subcommunities setting aside their differences and embracing their similarities. within India itself, i despise the conversations about crystallizing traditions to prevent dilution of the Indian culture (it tends to lead to a lot of political garbage in my opinion, such as the Ram Sena ridiculousness). so why, then, have i been so singularly focused with my aspirations for the Konkani community in North America? if we take a step back and imagine the world X number of years from now as tidbits of "previous cultures" all molded into one large multiethnic, multicultural, and therefore more cohesive, population -- would that not be something to celebrate?